Outside Primark two friends meet.
Kelly: ‘Ere, Joyce, what you doin’ tonight?
Joyce: ‘Allo Kelly, love. I dunno, why?
Kelly: I saw that Last Tango last night at the Hippodrome.
Joyce: What’s that then?
Kelly: It’s them dancers off the telly. Them Strictly dancers.
Joyce: Good was it?
Kelly: It were Gert Lush. You wanna take your Lee, he’ll love it.
Joyce: Musical is it?
Kelly: Well there’s music – and some singing. They’re right talented, them singers, what with dancing at the same time and that. But that Flavia, you know, the one with the bob, she can’t half dance. Wish I could dance like that: all that leg flicking round the bloke, dead sexy. And that Vincent, wouldn’t mind getting Tangoed with him.
(They both laugh.)
He’s well fit. Mind you she keeps herself trim.
Joyce: All that dancing I expect. And she probably lives off salads. What’s it about, then?
Kelly: Well there’s this fat bloke in an attic, an old geezer, who’s goin’ through ‘is stuff and he pulls out something, from his past like, and they come on and do a dance. So like something reminds him when he met his wife and they dance about meeting. You know, Vincent’s him when he was young, he’s remembering himself.
Joyce: And she’s his wife?
Kelly: That’s it, yeah and it goes through ‘is life, well their life: getting married, having babies, off to war…
Joyce: It’s not modern day then?
Kelly: Well the old bloke’s like now. Comes up to date and she’s dead.
Joyce: That’s a bit sad.
Kelly: Doesn’t stop ‘em dancing though.
Joyce: Just them two is it?
Kelly: No there’s loads of them. They’re brilliant.
Joyce: All doin’ the Tango are they?
Kelly: No, don’t be silly, you couldn’t have just one dance: they do the Charlston, and a waltz and a jive and that skippy one – all of them, like they do on Strictly.
Joyce: Them judges in it?
Kelly: No, I felt a bit cheated, I wanted Len to come on and say ’seven’, like he does. Or that Craig Neville whatssisname to swan on and give them a bollocking.
Joyce: Revel Hall.
Kelly: Horwood!
Joyce: He loves to stick the knife in.
Kelly: I couldn’t tell if they were doing it right or not. They could have been getting up to any old mullarky without the judges to keep them on the straight and narrow.
Joyce: I expect that’s why they do it, to let their hair down, give it some welly without fussing over their feet too much.
Kelly: Mind you I do like a bit of passion.
Joyce: That’s like my Lee; a bit of passion.
Kelly: (Laughing) Take him along, jog his memory, put ‘im in the mood. They’re very passionate when they dance, you can tell there’s something going on. They got a standing ovation at the end.
Joyce: I’ve always fancied doing those Salsa classes: you never know he might just take the hint.
Kelly: Good luck with that. Here’s my bus, see you.
Joyce: Bye. Thanks for the tip.
(They kiss and go their separate ways)
★★★☆☆ Graham Wyles 3rd February 2016
Photo Manuel Harlan
