Here at the Inter-Species Linguistic Research Institute (ISLRI) we were intrigued to receive an invitation to a lecture by the eminent anthropologist and animal communicator, Gloria Delaneuf, on the subject of her life-changing experience in the Kungalunga jungle. Ms Delaneuf whose name and reputation are now a byword for scientific rigour, was assisted in her talk by her UK representative, Ms Josephine Cunningham.

Her research took her – and by the joyful exercise of imagination, us – into the heart of darkness that is the Kungalungese jungle. Here the sounds, flora and fauna of this remote part of the globe were brought vividly to life.  All the paraphernalia of the modern lecture tour were employed to great effect: small mechanical creatures – so lifelike that certain ladies in the audience were reaching for their smelling salts by way of fortification – and artificial flora indiscernible from their rainforest originals, all I say, conspired to lay the realities of scientific research in such an exotic and dangerous location vividly before our eyes. These properties were ably manipulated by the aforementioned Ms Cunningham, who at times brought to mind a tea-room waitress with the quick agility and precise movement of a meerkat. Ever solicitous (one might say over-enthusiastic) in her desire to facilitate the illusion sought by her employer, certain mishaps were almost bound to occur.  Nonetheless I was dismayed at the hilarity this provoked amongst certain sections of the audience (who feigned immunity to my sternest gaze) with the mishaps of the hapless assistant eventually inducing the audience to rock in their seats with unlooked for mirth.

However, ever the true professional, Ms Delaneuf overcame these intermittent distractions and took us straight to the core of her research.  By the most amazing of coincidences (or was it diligent research?) the inarticulate grunts and hand gestures our heroine used were immediately understood by the subject of her studies, a young gorilla (Gorilla gorilla) discovered alone in a small clearing. Initially resentful of, but not alarmed at the attention (she had confided to us the important fact that one should always approach a gorilla backwards – more amusement from an audience clearly more interested in the somewhat sensational and coarser aspects of the talk ) shown by this unfamiliar human. However this initial mistrust soon gave over to a (ahem) more familiar relationship over which we draw a curtain. (Clearly our primate cousins suffer from similar urges of a baser nature, which delicate sensibilities would do well to ignore.) One should add that the likeness of the gorilla, whose name, equally miraculously, was the first guessed at by Ms Delaneuf –Mickey – was enacted by the aforementioned Ms C. with such verisimilitude that the smelling salts were again in action.

Her adventures continued with the appearance of a humanoid, a Tarzan-like creature (Ms C.again) who forced a somewhat laodicean Ms Cunningham into submitting to his degenerate appetites. How we shuddered as the unfortunate lady re-lived the shocking episode, her face rhythmically pressing against the mesh panel of the tent (More sniggering from the audience) in which she had to undergo such a brutal initiation into the ways of primitive man. How she suffered in the pursuit of knowledge.

If one may make so bold as to remark that Ms Delaneuf lends a certain glamour to the discipline she embellishes by her participation I do no more than convey an evident truth.  We were struck, for example, by her willingness to remove all her clothing, save for the barest minimum acceptable to defend modesty, in order to give a faithful representation of the hardships and privations of jungle exploration.  She displays a commanding presence on the dais, employing to great effect that Gallic concoction of nobility and femininity as well as an evident love of knowledge. Other episodes; her trip to the UN, the meeting with primitive tribespeople, her experiences under the influence of mind altering drugs and the pathos of the death of the noble primate, one can only urge readers to experience for themselves.  The talk is highly recommended to any and all seekers of knowledge (however disturbing may be the truth) and whose horizons will surely be expanded in the company of this singular lady.    ★★★★☆   Graham Wyles   22nd June 2016