I am old enough to remember when variety was an important aspect of our entertainment, both in the theatre and on television. It may have been taking its faltering last steps, but at least it was still there. While not perhaps making a comeback at least there are those who are making a worthy attempt to keep the flag (and the feathers) flying. Missy Malone is one.

Burlesque was essentially a sexed-up version of vaudeville which was the same as the old British music-hall. One of my all-time favourite American musicals is Gypsy. It tells the story of burlesque queen Gypsy Rose Lee and one of the best numbers in the show explains how to succeed as a stripper. “You gotta get a gimmick if you wanna get ahead….”

If you’re goin’ to bump it, bump it with a trumpet

If you’re goin’ to grind it, wait till you’ve refined it.

Cheltenham-based Missy Malone’s show at the town’s Playhouse Theatre last night successfully harked back to the good-old-days and the dancers certainly had their gimmicks. Scarlett Daggers’ second spot had a bit of fire-eating while Kitten de Ville did a reverse strip starting off starkers and gradually getting dressed. Missy Malone herself provided the class act performing the archetypal fan dance for her first spot. All the ladies performed well with not the tiniest hint of seediness but I must confess I found them more exotic than erotic.

Now, I’ve got nothing against naked ladies – I’d dearly like to have something against a naked lady but my wife won’t let me, boom-boom – but for me it was the specialty acts that stole the evening. There were two of them – if you don’t count stripping itself as a spesh.

Abagail Nenuphar’s excellent trapeze-type act on a suspended ring was both elegant and exciting but for me, beyond any doubt, it was Rod Laver – no, not the tennis Rod Laver, another one – who stole the show. His first spot, swallowing and juggling ping-pong balls with his mouth, was both amazingly clever and very funny. The climax was when he, with his mouth, juggled half-a-dozen of the pesky little plastic balls. He called this routine his Oral Six.

The evening was hosted by the amiable Des O’Connor – no, not the Des O’Connor, another one – who compèred the show with his little ukulele in his hand and had a line in risqué ditties that made George Formby look like Julie Andrews.

Hats, and everything else, off to Missy Malone for her dedication to a style which, although largely gone, is not forgotten. The full house(s) last night demonstrated that her efforts are not in vain. ★★★★☆   Michael Hasted