I am old enough to remember when variety was an important aspect of our entertainment, both in the theatre and on television. In London I lived just down the road from the famous Collin’s Music Hall on Islington Green and I even used to know a woman who had been a fan dancer at the old Windmill in Soho.

Burlesque was essentially a sexed-up version of American vaudeville which was basically the same as the old British music-hall. While not perhaps making a comeback at least there are those who are making a worthy attempt to keep the flag (and the feathers) flying. Missy Malone is one.

Last night’s two sell-out shows at the Playhouse in Cheltenham were a testament to the fact that people still want this sort of entertainment. Missy Malone and Friends Burlesque Revue is essentially an old-time variety show with the emphasis on exotic dancing – am I allowed to call them strippers?

The evening was confidently hosted by a young man calling himself Dusty Limits whose act would make even Julian Clary blush. To call him risqué would be like calling the Pope Catholic and oddly, either by design or Devine intervention, found two men of the cloth in the audience with whom to interact. In fact one of them was hauled up on stage to help with the evening’s speciality act, a gentleman called Adriano Fettucini, with some plate spinning.

But it was the girls that I imagine most people came to see. Missy Malone herself opened the first half with a swirling cape number. The epitome of professionalism her acts are beautifully conceived and executed. Eliza DeLite’s first spot involved a lot of dusty Turkish delight (DeLite – delight, geddit?) while her second was a very classy fan dance. Abigail Collins, in her Peggy Sued persona, did an act which was somewhere between a spesh and a strip. Masquerading as a brash former Las Vegas showgirl and Playboy Bunny some of her material probably made even Dusty Limits blush. There wasn’t a real name in the show. Did they buy up a job lot of pseudonyms or are the police after all of them?

For me, the sexiest lady of the night was Beau Rocks whose two numbers were a joy. She was also the one who took the most off and had the most to reveal when she’d done so. Now, I’ve got nothing against naked ladies – I’d dearly like to have something against a naked lady but my wife won’t let me, boom-boom – but I would have liked another specialty act – if you don’t count stripping as a spesh. There are lots of sexy speshes around – trapeze and other aerial acts, acrobats, contortionists – I’m sure the audience would have appreciated it. Nevertheless, they still lapped up every moment of an entertaining show.

Hats, and everything else, off to Missy Malone and her friends for their dedication to a style which, although largely gone, is not forgotten. The full house(s) last night demonstrated that her efforts are not in vain. ★★★★☆   Michael Hasted   19/04/15